How to Build Confidence and Succeed at Dating

March 19, 2021

My guest today is dating and confidence coach, Nick Notas. For more than twelve years he has helped men conquer their fears, build self-esteem, and develop meaningful relationships. In the age of Tinder, dating can be a challenge, and Nick offers tons of practical advice to help in that arena. One thing I really appreciate about him is his deeper focus on building confidence and communication skills, which can certainly help with dating, but surely transforms all significant relationships and social networks.

On this podcast, Nick and I talk about considerations for modern-day dating. We discuss how lockdowns over the past year have affected the dating scene, and what’s likely to happen when restrictions are lifted. Nick shares some practical advice for using dating apps: how to make a good first impression, making that first message count, and giving compliments that don’t suck.

Here’s the outline of this interview with Nick Notas:

[00:01:44] How Nick became a dating coach.

[00:03:21] Choosing to work with men.

[00:03:58] In-person retreats.

[00:08:12] How dating has changed during lockdown.

[00:09:47] The current state of online dating.

[00:13:40] The importance of good photos and how to get them.

[00:18:30] Dating apps: Tinder, Bumble, Hinge.

[00:20:40] Generational differences in dating.

[00:21:04] Generation Z is having the least sex; Study: Ueda, Peter, et al. "Trends in frequency of sexual activity and number of sexual partners among adults aged 18 to 44 years in the US, 2000-2018." JAMA network open 3.6 (2020): e203833-e203833.

[00:24:04] Mindset factors.

[00:24:17] Brad Stulberg; Book: Passion Paradox; Podcast The Passion Paradox: A Guide to Going All In, Finding Success, and Discovering the Benefits of an Unbalanced Life; NBT Podcast with Brad: How to Harness Productive Passion and Avoid Burnout.

[00:25:02] Satisfaction within arranged marriage: Epstein, Robert, Mayuri Pandit, and Mansi Thakar. "How love emerges in arranged marriages: Two cross-cultural studies." Journal of Comparative Family Studies 44.3 (2013): 341-360.

[00:27:47] Creating opportunity to find connections.

[00:31:25] Podcast: How to Think Yourself Younger, Healthier, and Faster, with Ellen Langer, PhD.

[00:33:31] Article: How to Write a Good First Message in Online Dating.

[00:39:25] How to give compliments that don't suck.

[00:42:32] Reconnected Dating on YouTube; Dating 101.